I wish i could message my male friends without the fear of them asking for or sending pictures

i got pressured to send nudes At 15. I had been asked to send an underwear pic, and this guy sent me a dick pic back. He then kept sending and asking me to send something in return. Eventually i did, But i didnt want to. I felt pressured die to the fact he had sent me things. I had done this before, however the guy didnt send me anything and just told me to send him things, Everyday, And i gave up saying no. These havent been leaked, but every day im thinking, Why did i do it? What happens if it does? I dont want people to find out, and i dont want other people to feel like this and live their life in fear. Im currently at the point of suicidal thoughts due to this, and i Just hope it will get better. I regret it all and i quite frankly wish this didnt happen and i could message my male friends without the fear of them asking for or sending pictures.

Izzy